Dealing with Loss
Loss.. it’s never easy.
A few weeks ago, on the spring equinox my family lost the person that brought us all here. Our Grandy. She was 93 and lived a good life. She was surrounded by all of us and we were surrounded by each other. For that, I will forever be grateful for. Still, it doesn’t make the fact that she’s gone any easier. I figure we’re not the only ones going through a loss right now so I thought I would share some of the way’s that help me accept and make peace with loss.
- Let yourself cry. The worst thing you can do for your own health is hold in emotion. Let yourself cry as much as you need to.
- Look at pictures and remember all the amazing times they had in their life and all the times you got to spend with them.
- Plant some seeds. Literally. Nature is such an incredible healer and watching the seeds you planted turn into sprouts is so exciting! It also takes your mind off the sadness for a little bit.
- Prioritize fresh air. Once again, nature really is one of the best healers. Get outside, breathe in the fresh air. Cry during a walk if you need to. And then make sure you start to notice the beauty that surrounds you. How after winter comes spring and all of a sudden life starts coming back into the ground and hopefully within you too.
- Move your body. Whether that be walking, yoga, pilates, running, a hit workout, hiking, skiing, barre.. move your body in a way that feels good. It will take your mind into your own body, even if it’s just for a short time, and hopefully, those endorphins will help you feel just a little better.
- Have something to remember your loved one by. If you’re lucky enough, maybe they gave you something when they were still here, maybe you even got to have something of theirs when they left. If not, buy yourself a little something in their honour that you can have forever. It feels like a little piece of them is always with you.
- Be grateful. Be grateful that you got to know this amazing soul, be grateful for the times you spent together, be grateful you had them in your life for the time you did. Be grateful for the hugs, the kisses, the fights, the laughs, the cry’s, the good and the bad. Having gratitude for their life and the parts you got to play in it can bring such an immense amount of peace within.
- Know that they are always with you. I’m not sure how every single religion works but in my mind, Grandy’s spirit is always watching us and she is always there to talk to when I need her. She can’t talk back anymore but I know she’s listening.
- And finally, be compassionate with yourself and the loved ones that are still here. Everyone grieves differently and you can take all the time in the world that you need. Just remember to take care of you.
If you’re grieving right now, my heart goes out to you. Take all the time you need.
And remember.. hug, squeeze and kiss the ones you love whenever you can. You never know when you won’t be able to anymore.
xoxo
Hey Alex,
It’s your cousin Caitlin, it’s very sweet to read your words and your processing around your grief. It has felt very disorienting is a word I kept using, but also re-orienting. Reorienting to a world without Grandy in it. I’ve noticed how, it felt like there were many parts of me that had to learn that Grandy is gone one by one. Like some sort of intelligent internal design that is like a self preservation mechanism. Each part of me had to digest a little bit more of the news one at a time so as not to overwhelm my system. Some younger parts, and some older parts. But some of the parts when they found out, I felt physical pain. I’m glad we were all there together, and to be able to digest the initial shock together. It’s still hard. The thing that I’m having a hard time with is the fear, that she was scared to die, and my fixer part wants to help her through to the other side so that she doesn’t feel scared. I will find ways to make peace with that so that she can too. I love how each sign of spring emerging is like a gift from Grandy. She is the Spring.
Talk soon, Love Cait
Hi lovely, thank you for the lovely comment. I agree with everything you said and am just so grateful that we were all there together. It will always hurt but eventually we will find peace in all the aspects and know that she is with us, all of us. She is most definitely spring. Love you.